怕

缠着我让我哭笑不得..虽然我骂你很烦
但是现在我开始怀念当时你的缠绵了..

两个人一起的日子
坐着车去兜风,海边的晚霞 我们的合照,你还留着吗?
我仍在回味着你身上的味道

你还记得你对我的呵护吗?
帮我清理我的缺点 对我的唠叨 对我的疯狂
虽然我有时听不进
但是我开始怀念你的声音了

当时我真的有后悔我没好好的听你的唠叨和呵护
在我不小心放了错后 我失去了你的信任和依赖
而当我努力的找回之前的感觉时 你已经不再是以前的你了
我们好陌生 你猜不透我的感受 而我不熟悉你的性格了
你已经是属于别人了

有办法吗?我开始慌了
你能在我离开之前给回我们以前的感觉吗?
很难了..因为你的心容不下我了
我也好想失忆了..忘记你对我的好。

Happy advance 2010 Year

Time and I are like in a mode of rush chasing game this year..and I lose to it..

I tried my best on every challenges and took every opportunities that I undergo..and I did my best on every failures overall the year,I didnt blame on anyone or anythings which were my obstacle because maybe I'm the one not smart enough..

Thanks-My family
You bring me lack of anxious everytimes I was angst and pampered me very well

Thanks-My lectures
You correct my foolish again and again

Thanks-My buddies
You grasp me promptly when I was feeling full sunken..even you and I going to diverge different ways but only true friends will leave their foodprint in your life,and I left mine..across the steps and you can find me

Time fly really quick this year compared with previous years..But every end is also a new begining..
And I get ready for my new year, new life and new life's inspiration for new year ..How about you??

分开旅行

朋友

这么多个日子的相处你真的辛苦了。

我知道我的脾气,性格还有为人,都让你哭笑不得吧?

都是你在忍耐和受气..

我真的很感激你当时的宽容。

但是我希望下一次我们再相聚的时候,

我和你可以调换一下!换我来学习谦虚和体谅你的一切。

常常事情发生后我才明白我过分了。
但是我不喜欢认输,又不知道该怎么面对,所以我故意的忽略了。
但是你都不知道就是因为有你 我才有勇气放纵和任性!

很快的我们就要开始追赶我们的未来了,
时间把现在跟过去拉远了,但是它也把 未来的距离拉近了。

加油,朋友！很期待你成功并与我分享的那一天。

listen..they're singing!

 I likes listening songs..

 wearing my earpieces,with very louderst volume..

few year before,

if u ask me which singer I like the most

=

But thing change when I grow up and be more mature!

his musics couldnt satisfy me anymore..

I start to accept those perfect and nice voice everywhere around the world

Those singers who are using their soul to sing

Those lyrics which are touching me every single moment I listens to them..

Those songs which giving me alot of inspiration of life

what im gonna do?

Have u guys ever expert like me?

I lost my Paper 6 textbook!!!

What da..and the worst is I only realized it disappear when I need it to do my revision!

I find everywhere but still cant find it..

oh!maybe supper it when I was hungry revision~

AND

as I mention revision..I likes last minute on everything even on my studies..

and its FUN..

你们读书够我厉害吗?读到整本书不翼而飞了..

生气

I read this article and would like to share with all of you..

知道人在生气的时候,为什么要用喊的呢?

因为

当两个人生气时,彼此的信任与依赖失去了..

因此,彼此心之间的距离也远了.. 

 而为了掩盖之间的距离使对方听见,于是就用喊的..

但是

 在喊的同时人会更生气,距离也越来越远了.. 

越远就越大声,

所以在无形中,我们就给互相制造了伤害..

 

 

STOP IT!!

Horror Movies...

wooo..Totally not in my favourate list!What should I comment myself is I am not brave enough to watch those movies which contain much scary scenes..Dont be weird if a boy age like me still on scare with such movies,or maybe I should says Whats fucking wrong if  I dont dare to?

Besides,I would like to please my friends,or whoever got my e-mail address..Dont ever send mails containing scary or pervert pictures,stories or whatever lah!Let me live in peace please...Because I wont check my inbox but I will delete all unread mails in a certain time..so dont waste your time to mark my name and forward to me..

Because your behaviour will made me insomnia for at least 3-4 days which my mind will keep reminding me those freaking stupid scenes..So please~

But currently I going to watch Jennifer's Body perhaps..=.=''

*生存之道*

现在的世界..悲哀啊...

好一句弱肉强食..想要当好人 是一个自杀的行为..

WHY??

因为好人就是好欺负就够了..

攀龙附凤 狐假虎威 变本加厉 忘恩负义!!

如果你想要在现在的社会立足,

你的身体里多多少少一定要有这些'优点'..

WHY??

因为人类是不知足的!有了就要更好,看不惯别人的就不择手段..

电视里教的人生大道理:坚持努力就会有结果..这些当然是对的!

因为这些要用于努力的为非作歹就会一人之上,万人之下的美满结局!

坚持自己的决定要更上一层楼 从坏变奸..

而如果你想打败这些所谓的奸人,很幸运的

你有一个再好不过的办法,就是要比他们还贱!

功力只有和他们平等也不错

至少拼个 你死我活 两败俱伤 的局面 

但是,永远都是 渔翁得利...

 WHY??

因为他们比你奸!!

爱情里没有永远,只有最后..

你还记得吗?
你笑着对我说要陪我走到永远..
但是,原来我们累积的永远只是一个谎言..
你的冷漠,我的心
告诉了我你已不再爱我..


只怪我不该只懂得配合你的剧本,拉扯后得到的全都只是意外...
而我却独自收拾剩下的残壳,一个人从返寂寞..
你不知道,我要的根本并不多..也不想看你那么累..
所以你选择了努力的躲开所有的地带...你不是故意的..


你的爱也这样飞了..我找不回来了..
泪掉了..
别怪我没用..它只是一种提醒..
提醒我还爱你,提醒自己这次真的伤了,它该流了..
但是别怕,寂寞就快取代你的位子了..


只是你带给我认识的幸福,也因为你..我和它变得陌生了...


也好,你让我明白了..幸福是不能随便认识的..

I wanna leave...

I scared..I worried..I messed.. I know there is nothing can cure me except time..
But time came late while I fall in the deepest trap that you made,and wrapped me..
and I thought whatever I done to you could barely lend me a place in your heart..
But not..and now you're gone and I dont know how to follow..

Now I decided to live alone for you..alone in darkness..alone in all the ways..
Maybe not,maybe only Im brave enough to face the rest of our promised by myself..
but hard to be sure,when the silent is illuminated,understand that only left lonely beside me..

I want to hide..I want to run..I want to fly..I want to leave..
as faster as I can..To another place..To escape from your vision..To a place that you never found me..
All across until there,I choose lonely together with me..only lonely understand me the well..only lonely knows how much I love you..and only lonely willing to love me forever..

Im still floating..floating in your world..
But now,可是我还爱你..I love You

Louder louder,we are running for our lives..Our own lives..
Recently,I feels alots of panic,upset..I am just surrouding by these suck ever feelings..

谁将是我的眼?

走在人海里,当我遇到盲人的时候我有着许多的感触..

上帝给了他们来到这个世界的机会,却跟他们开了看不见的玩笑..

感觉得到太阳的温度,却看不到阳光..

感觉得到寒冷的天气,却看不到雪花..

无论你怎么的清楚告诉他们,他永远不清楚周围的事物..

站在镜子面前他怎么摸,他永远不清楚自己看什么样子..

有目标,有希望...但是因为没方向所以才一直原地不动..

他们都要戴着黑色的眼镜,隔着一层像墨一样的视觉过着没有色彩的日子..

他们祈祷着祈祷着,只希望下一次从梦里醒来时..眼前的视觉是不一样的东西,哪怕只有几秒钟..

他们祈祷着祈祷着,希望当下一次走在马路上时..可以放开对所有人的依靠,哪怕只越过那条街..

但是他们却让我拥有无比的羡慕!为什么?

因为他们看不见这个世界坏的一面..

他们看不见丑陋,冷酷,无情,现实....甚至是爱情..

而我..虽然拥有一双看得见的眼睛..但是我仍然处于灰色地带..

如果真的有那么一天,我的双眼看不见了..我的爱,你会牵着我的手,陪我等天亮吗??

...

*2009.9.23 i lost my 4th uncle who had a very serious kidney disease..Among all my father's siblings,he is the one who really trust in Lord and he really love GOD..but he still cant fight the fate when the disease and death are go on him!Its really made me upset and till today I still cant really accept the fact why he will got such disease since he never touch on Cigarette and alcohol!!

Even my relationship with uncle was not that close,but once i flashed back of many things like my granny,she had lost a great son..my dad and other uncles and aunties,they lost their brother who live with them for almost half of the live..and his family members..A several complicated feels was fully inside my body..

On 24th,the funeral procession day..Once and once i told myself not to cry but its seem to be so hard when the music was played and the relative were pray..i noticed my cousins who stand beside me kept on wipe his tears and even my dad and other uncle who never watch them of this kind of upset squating on the stair..*

Times running really quick,feeling like this matter just two days ago..Many time,i often ask to GOD why I needs to face so much difficulties in my life why dont gave me a simple and peaceful life.. If I really do means likes this I such like a dastard who only know and choose the ways to escapes when the trouble is come..But i dont want to admit how suck and worse i am..But if theres not that much of obsession in life,maybe I wont be that mess and awful?who knows...

My exam today

My God..i did not really well in my exam..wishes at least have a pass please!!!
Tomorrow back bintulu no more brunei /.\

A movie..

Yesterday night my homies and I went for a movie produced by a Singaporean director Jack Neo..My comment for his WHERE GOT GHOST  is not as funny as 老师嫁老大..but its gave  me alots of inspirations..Its branch out 3parts..In the end of each part theres a sentence which really effecting me..And this is the director used to do for all his productions..Funny instead of lessons containing in those movies..

The first sentence is something like this:

人生中发生的患难,是因为忽略了细节而引起的..

The second part:

要走捷径,就必须付出该有的代价..

For me I like the last part..Its touched me last night for the whole movie..

The story is like this:

3个儿子的母亲去世了但是他们抱怨母亲并没有像他们的一个发财朋友的母亲一样的保佑他们,甚至以为母亲带衰他们..所以在出公务之前就决定把母亲的灵位放在某某灵堂里..在路途上他们不知道这一回竟是不归路!!他们在路上看到母亲的灵魂而发生了车祸就抱怨以为母亲什么保佑都没给他们!!话毕,前面的山竟然崩塌了!!这时他们才发觉如果当时没有看到母亲的话他们就会驾过那里,就会死翘翘了~而当他们再次遇见那个朋友时,那朋友竟然告诉他们说他得了末期癌!!

Actually what does this story teach us is simple..Eventhough their mother didnt bless them in monetary or wealth but she saved their life and bless their health..For us as a human,we really can do nothing without health..Life is important than everythings around the world..Only with life,we can explode the world!!Even you are rich but when the illness come over you,you cant buy health..有钱但是没命享..haha..

I Stay In Love

Dying inside 'cause I can't stand it
Make or break up can't take this madness
We don't even really know why
All I know is baby I try and try so hard
To keep our love alive
If you don't know me at this point
Then I highly doubt you ever will
I really need you to give me
That unconditional love I used to feel
It's a mistake if we just erase it
From our hearts and minds and I know

[Chorus:]
We said let go
But I kept on hanging on
Inside I know it's over
You're really gone
It's killing me
'cause there ain't nothing
That I can do
Baby, I stay in love with you
And I keep on telling myself
That you'll come back around
And I try to front like "Oh well"
Each time you let me down
See I can't get over you now
No matter what I do
But baby, baby
I stay in love with you

It cuts so deep
It hurts down to my soul
My friends tell me
I ain't the same no more
We still need each other
When we stumble and fall
How we gonna act
Like what we had
Ain't nothin' at all now
Hey, what I wanna do is
Ride shotgun next to you
With the top down like we used to
Hit the block
Proud in the SUV
We both know our heart is breaking
Can we learn from our mistakes
I can't last one moment alone
Now go I know...


Even Mariah released newer songs but i still like this~~its really meaningfull to me and her..

4 days till Costing exam!!

TimeSSS run without waiting and by didnt noticed,1 month past and i still not really get ready for my level 4 exam which i skip it last time and taking this time with my juniors..My friends used to said that the exam isnt too much problem for me because in their eyes they believe that i can handle all the difficulties by easily..But actually im NOT!!i passed my level 1,2,3 with first class pass by really put alots of efforts,and time on study..but the thing now is different while i still not nervous of what will i get if i didnt study..Gosh!!

I admit that i act fusses since the begining of this semester..Unconciously this term semester going to end but i learn nothing yet still playing around with my friends..2months to go after my 2weeks holidays before i sit on my big exams on december!hopes everythings not gonna to be late..

and good news for my KB friends that i going to Brunei on 19th after my exam..hoho!!

好像我做错了..

本来今天这个时候我应该是在民都鲁的..
是因为什么我不回去? 我真的不知道从什么时候开始我对家庭的感觉变的很淡了~

我答应妹妹的,要带回电话给她..我答应婆婆要回去探望她..我答应堂兄弟姐妹要回去陪他们疯的..我又失言了..如果看到这个,对不起各位..原来你们都这么关心我的!还好你们打来,不然我真的不知道我错了!

下午4点多你们打来我都没接,因为你们都好奇我不是说好回去但是却没到..尤其是爸爸..我都没勇气跟你说''我没回了别打来了''..但是后来,好像上帝让我明白如果再不接的话会让你担心我是不是有发生了意外..终于,我接了你的电话..你还是一样的话题,一样的语气!

而好像我对你的回话都是不甘愿的,不耐烦的!我跟你撒了谎..你问我为什么没回,我骗你说我没钱买车票而且也迟了!你要我先跟朋友借钱买车票回来玩个几天迟点回去,我骗你说他们都不在家,而且我拜三就要考试但其实是星期六!你问我为什么不接电话,我骗你说我去爬山了..爸,你听得出来我都是在骗你吗?但是我却听得出你很想我了..你说你还以为我会回来,就特地熬了鸡汤等我!当时我真的好想出现在大家面前!

Do you know what does the meaning of F A M I L Y??

F =father

A =and

M=mother

I =I

L =love

Y =you

A Birthday Party!!

Well,its been a while i didnt use english to write a post..
Yesterday,11.09.09 was my housemate Teosss birthday..start on Monday,all the homies were collected money rm15 / person to buy BBQ stuffs,drinks and about 2o plus persons came yesterday night..we moved the table which we use it to dining(thats mean it is very big and can effort around 16 persons to use it 1 time) to our car park and our house was just crowed when all our friends come..

For foods,i cooked Carbonara..for the first round not lying its finish in 2 minutes!!My lord..wonder they were too hungry or 给我面子??haha,but i hopes u guys like it..for me,its not as nice as the time i cook for my own birthday party la!!of course,we got others meals like Tom Yam fish,chickens,noodles..........In not more than half an hour,the foods that present were finish with not left much~

Besides,Andy moved his alter lansing set to our living and we played the songs with loudy whole night!!it was just very HIGH..we sang the songs together when the songs familiar to all of us were played..and we dance too..=.=''v..

What can i say is yesterday night was the best party i ever had in miri and we were just too crazy and enjoy it..but the most regretful thing for yesterday is i didnt take any picture..

无题

什么叫浪漫?
明知道那女生不喜欢他,还送给她999朵玫瑰!
什么叫浪费?
明知道那女生爱他,还送给她999朵玫瑰!!=.=''

时间..

如果今天有个人问我

你觉得这个世上什么最无情?

我会说:时间!

没有办法跟它说 你别走

没有办法跟它说 我想回去

没有办法跟它说 可不可以不要忘记

没有办法跟它说 你可以走快点吗?

没有办法跟它说 等我一下好不好?

没有办法跟它说 让现在这一秒永远的停在这里

没有办法跟它说 我想到未来

就是不能!!不管你怎样它都还是顺着走..

而我们能做的就是学会 珍惜!!

曾经我是多么的希望时间能走快点,这样我就可以早点抛开那些做功课,背书的痛苦..

曾经我是多么的希望时间能走快点,这样我就可以早点出社会赚钱,减轻爸爸的负担..

但曾经过去了,好像我又烦恼未来..

那现在呢?我还搞不懂我要的是什么?

随着年龄的成长,我学会了恐慌..

其实我真的很怕..

怕我学不会

怕我对曾经许下的愿望,梦想 都不会实现

怕我会是个不成功的人

怕也许会让对我有期待的人失望了

有些我的个性我真的 很 讨 厌!!

因为它们让我活得很累很累..

我真的很久没心情很好很久了..

大热天

最近好吗?我真的不知该怎么回答那些在民都鲁问我的爸,朋友,表姐堂哥们..
只能说我整个人都很差劲..没有心要上课..对周围的所有事情完全没在乎!!9/19 level 4 costing 我完全不会,但却似乎都不在意它..完!!

今天是我在美里住这么久以来遇到停电最长的一次..从早上9点左右到下午5点45左右..
靠!!原来除了没钱之外,没电的生活真的不是人过的..还好在其间,源带我们到星城走走..享受那里的冷气..没冷气真的有够热的..

对了,昨天参加我朋友的生日派对..啊~只能说他被整得好惨..最惨的还是我们家几个的心,谁叫蛋糕是我们买的..而且还蛮贵下的,就这样被他们糟蹋了!!啊~我的巧克力蛋糕啊..哈哈

还有就是最近迷上了''终极三国''..蛮好看的..爆笑啦!!哈哈

他说:如果你感觉的阴影,别怕..那是因为背后有阳光

我不怕阴影,因为你是我背后的阳光

晚安..

我的朋友

想想一个人来到美里读书也8个月了~一年也过了半年两个月

回头问问自己今年到底做了什么?原来,我除了在CAT level 1,2 和3 拿 first class pass 外,也没什么事是我值得炫耀的!还真对不起我老爸...

刚来这里时,认识的人根本不多..在班上都很少跟其他人打交道..也不知为什么,在那时候我根本不觉得寂寞...只是告诉自己我来到这里是读书而不是交朋友,更不是交女朋友!!在班里,也特别安静

后来时间久了..我的朋友除了自己科系的之外,我还认识到其他理工的...

从,一群陌生人变成无话不谈的好朋友..有的甚至是以前我看不爽的现在却在我的一堆里！

跟他们在一起真的很快乐!!在家里,在学校,在外面,开心的,不开心的,烦恼的,神经的笑声,瞄女生,敲女生的号码,讲别人的八卦,做无聊的事,唱歌,吵架和好...渐渐的,我才发现原来少掉任何一个他们会很不习惯 失恋时,恋爱时,暗恋时,成功时,失意时,困难时..他们都在我身边一起度过..虽然有时彼此的玩笑真的开大了

我的生命的意义也因为有了这班朋友而增加了

常常告诉自己,朋友不用很多..有一个是知心的,会胜过十个从不在乎你的!

再过1个月多我考level 4，4个月后就是level 5,6,7,9,10!!

然后,就在同间学校拿ACCA part 2..不然,就是走人了..心情很复杂,想想没有他们的陪伴的我,又是怎样的一个人呢?明白我们都有自己的目标,自己的一片天,以后有自己想要的,想做的事,很多很多~是一生的朋友,还是我生命里的过客?我只有在许多日子后才知道这个答案..但是我能确定的是,没有他们我一定很寂寞..

对于那些擦肩的友情,结束的爱情,正在等待的感情,我只能说现在的我给不了什么承诺..我不是个主动的人,更不会表达我的感情..那些曾经因为我的差劲而带来伤害的,只有对不起..

从我朋友那里来的一句话：

生命是上帝给我们最好的礼物,而生活,是我们回报上帝最好的礼物

朋友不是生命的过客,而是肯陪你走完你未走的路程

朋友是在你孤单无助时,他们其实早已经在你身边了