I wanna leave...

I scared..I worried..I messed.. I know there is nothing can cure me except time..
But time came late while I fall in the deepest trap that you made,and wrapped me..
and I thought whatever I done to you could barely lend me a place in your heart..
But not..and now you're gone and I dont know how to follow..

Now I decided to live alone for you..alone in darkness..alone in all the ways..
Maybe not,maybe only Im brave enough to face the rest of our promised by myself..
but hard to be sure,when the silent is illuminated,understand that only left lonely beside me..

I want to hide..I want to run..I want to fly..I want to leave..
as faster as I can..To another place..To escape from your vision..To a place that you never found me..
All across until there,I choose lonely together with me..only lonely understand me the well..only lonely knows how much I love you..and only lonely willing to love me forever..

Im still floating..floating in your world..
But now,可是我还爱你..I love You

Louder louder,we are running for our lives..Our own lives..
Recently,I feels alots of panic,upset..I am just surrouding by these suck ever feelings..

谁将是我的眼?

走在人海里,当我遇到盲人的时候我有着许多的感触..

上帝给了他们来到这个世界的机会,却跟他们开了看不见的玩笑..

感觉得到太阳的温度,却看不到阳光..

感觉得到寒冷的天气,却看不到雪花..

无论你怎么的清楚告诉他们,他永远不清楚周围的事物..

站在镜子面前他怎么摸,他永远不清楚自己看什么样子..

有目标,有希望...但是因为没方向所以才一直原地不动..

他们都要戴着黑色的眼镜,隔着一层像墨一样的视觉过着没有色彩的日子..

他们祈祷着祈祷着,只希望下一次从梦里醒来时..眼前的视觉是不一样的东西,哪怕只有几秒钟..

他们祈祷着祈祷着,希望当下一次走在马路上时..可以放开对所有人的依靠,哪怕只越过那条街..

但是他们却让我拥有无比的羡慕!为什么?

因为他们看不见这个世界坏的一面..

他们看不见丑陋,冷酷,无情,现实....甚至是爱情..

而我..虽然拥有一双看得见的眼睛..但是我仍然处于灰色地带..

如果真的有那么一天,我的双眼看不见了..我的爱,你会牵着我的手,陪我等天亮吗??

...

*2009.9.23 i lost my 4th uncle who had a very serious kidney disease..Among all my father's siblings,he is the one who really trust in Lord and he really love GOD..but he still cant fight the fate when the disease and death are go on him!Its really made me upset and till today I still cant really accept the fact why he will got such disease since he never touch on Cigarette and alcohol!!

Even my relationship with uncle was not that close,but once i flashed back of many things like my granny,she had lost a great son..my dad and other uncles and aunties,they lost their brother who live with them for almost half of the live..and his family members..A several complicated feels was fully inside my body..

On 24th,the funeral procession day..Once and once i told myself not to cry but its seem to be so hard when the music was played and the relative were pray..i noticed my cousins who stand beside me kept on wipe his tears and even my dad and other uncle who never watch them of this kind of upset squating on the stair..*

Times running really quick,feeling like this matter just two days ago..Many time,i often ask to GOD why I needs to face so much difficulties in my life why dont gave me a simple and peaceful life.. If I really do means likes this I such like a dastard who only know and choose the ways to escapes when the trouble is come..But i dont want to admit how suck and worse i am..But if theres not that much of obsession in life,maybe I wont be that mess and awful?who knows...

My exam today

My God..i did not really well in my exam..wishes at least have a pass please!!!
Tomorrow back bintulu no more brunei /.\

A movie..

Yesterday night my homies and I went for a movie produced by a Singaporean director Jack Neo..My comment for his WHERE GOT GHOST  is not as funny as 老师嫁老大..but its gave  me alots of inspirations..Its branch out 3parts..In the end of each part theres a sentence which really effecting me..And this is the director used to do for all his productions..Funny instead of lessons containing in those movies..

The first sentence is something like this:

人生中发生的患难,是因为忽略了细节而引起的..

The second part:

要走捷径,就必须付出该有的代价..

For me I like the last part..Its touched me last night for the whole movie..

The story is like this:

3个儿子的母亲去世了但是他们抱怨母亲并没有像他们的一个发财朋友的母亲一样的保佑他们,甚至以为母亲带衰他们..所以在出公务之前就决定把母亲的灵位放在某某灵堂里..在路途上他们不知道这一回竟是不归路!!他们在路上看到母亲的灵魂而发生了车祸就抱怨以为母亲什么保佑都没给他们!!话毕,前面的山竟然崩塌了!!这时他们才发觉如果当时没有看到母亲的话他们就会驾过那里,就会死翘翘了~而当他们再次遇见那个朋友时,那朋友竟然告诉他们说他得了末期癌!!

Actually what does this story teach us is simple..Eventhough their mother didnt bless them in monetary or wealth but she saved their life and bless their health..For us as a human,we really can do nothing without health..Life is important than everythings around the world..Only with life,we can explode the world!!Even you are rich but when the illness come over you,you cant buy health..有钱但是没命享..haha..

I Stay In Love

Dying inside 'cause I can't stand it
Make or break up can't take this madness
We don't even really know why
All I know is baby I try and try so hard
To keep our love alive
If you don't know me at this point
Then I highly doubt you ever will
I really need you to give me
That unconditional love I used to feel
It's a mistake if we just erase it
From our hearts and minds and I know

[Chorus:]
We said let go
But I kept on hanging on
Inside I know it's over
You're really gone
It's killing me
'cause there ain't nothing
That I can do
Baby, I stay in love with you
And I keep on telling myself
That you'll come back around
And I try to front like "Oh well"
Each time you let me down
See I can't get over you now
No matter what I do
But baby, baby
I stay in love with you

It cuts so deep
It hurts down to my soul
My friends tell me
I ain't the same no more
We still need each other
When we stumble and fall
How we gonna act
Like what we had
Ain't nothin' at all now
Hey, what I wanna do is
Ride shotgun next to you
With the top down like we used to
Hit the block
Proud in the SUV
We both know our heart is breaking
Can we learn from our mistakes
I can't last one moment alone
Now go I know...


Even Mariah released newer songs but i still like this~~its really meaningfull to me and her..

4 days till Costing exam!!

TimeSSS run without waiting and by didnt noticed,1 month past and i still not really get ready for my level 4 exam which i skip it last time and taking this time with my juniors..My friends used to said that the exam isnt too much problem for me because in their eyes they believe that i can handle all the difficulties by easily..But actually im NOT!!i passed my level 1,2,3 with first class pass by really put alots of efforts,and time on study..but the thing now is different while i still not nervous of what will i get if i didnt study..Gosh!!

I admit that i act fusses since the begining of this semester..Unconciously this term semester going to end but i learn nothing yet still playing around with my friends..2months to go after my 2weeks holidays before i sit on my big exams on december!hopes everythings not gonna to be late..

and good news for my KB friends that i going to Brunei on 19th after my exam..hoho!!