After since.

It's been a while I did'nt logged in my blogger and update something about myself. Well actually I did I think?It just sometimes I wanted to write something but I just cant get the grammar correct/ words to describe what am I feeling at the time and so I just let the post drafted there.

Today is a boring day. Well if you are good enough  in history, it's Brunei National Day. And I got a one day holiday.Holiday uh? Rotting in the house facing my lappy and napped are what I did so far. Nearly 9 months I have working in this country.Life here is good, I earns my own and I uses my own.Maybe sometimes I spent more than I earned but I guess thats life.I met a bunch of mates here and they're just friendly and nice.Sometimes misunderstanding occurred between me and anyone of them.I'd just say I am not the kind of person who smart enough to express whats wrong with me to people surrounding me.All I know is just show my face according to my mind and emotion.I do understand its annoying everytime we hanged out but then I showed up emo face and ended up the gathering in not happy condition.BUT trust me that I love to hang out with you guys.Oh Yeah,and also today is my sister Elaine Loi 19th birthday.Kor at here again wishes you have a wonderful day and you know I <3 You.

I am a higher and also can be a very very down dropper sometimes.I hate the feeling of waiting.No matter its forwarding a good situation or bad side.Waiting for the party started,waiting for the injuries being healed,and recently I got the feeling of waiting someone come back to you.This will be so ridiculous if the opposite never promised anything but you waiting for him/her for nothing here;or maybe what you waiting is a chance which you will not seeing any future hopes between you and him/her.After a big slapped on my face and I realized that is a shit,then I trying so hard to let it go.But sometimes thing did not work as your wished.Starred at the pictures on the wall and I will ask myself : are you doing fine over there so far from me? So I dislike during the time to forget someone.Actually its like you are waiting someone to step out from your world.So again,Its WAITING.

现在我很幸福 is in the headset since just now.Maybe till the time we meet again, I able to tell you that : I'm doing good as what you wished before you leaved.If leaving is what you decided,please you gotta take care yourself always.Find someone that he is deserved to own your heart.Find someone who willing to love you more than you love her. And I will do the same thing too :)

也许分开是为了下次的再见 is currently my favourite quote to motivated myself when someone is leaving so far from me.

以为你还在

钢琴上的键弹不出明天 
一双手要怎样
要怎样才能够撑住一片天
明天已经很遥远
一个人要怎样
要怎样伪装自己勇敢向前
*我以为你还在
我还等着你回来
 一起看海拥抱海的澎湃 
数到三还不来 
回忆不释怀
我在等待 
可是你怎么都不会回来

I'll be , I wanna do..

I'll be your dream, 

I'll be your wish

I'll be your fantasy
I'll be your hope, 

I'll be your love be everything that you need
I love you more with every breath truly madly deeply do

I will be strong 

I will be faithful 'cause

I'm counting on
A new beginning.
A reason for living.
A deeper meaning.

  And when the stars are shining brightly in the velvet sky,
I'll make a wish send it to heaven then make you want to cry
The tears of joy for all the pleasure in the certainty
That we're surrounded by the comfort and protection of
The highest powers. In lonely hours. The tears devour you.

I want to stand with you on a mountain
I want to bathe with you in the sea
I want to lay like this forever
until the sky falls down on me.

还是走了

后来我还是背上我的一切背井离乡去到他乡。
踏出家门槛的那一杀那其实我的思想仍然在拉扯。

如果我可以

不干净的黑夜把月光吞觅了
旁边陪着我的是一首首让我不经意想起你的曲子
冷掉的咖啡 还有不见梦魔的理由

一个人的角落 一个人的世界
我习惯了寂寞
你不会看见,但是我还是想对你说
可能我就是少了那么点在乎
因为我觉得
有缘你就会陪我一起走下去
如果我忘了该怎么想念 如果我忘了该怎么努力 如果我忘了该怎么等待
你会不会温柔的提醒?
但爱情本来就是我有权利喜欢你 而你也有拒绝我的选择

如果我可以在勇敢一点
但是爱情是一种可怕的责任
如果我能够在聪明一点
但是
白天不懂夜的黑
就像你不懂我有多么地爱你。

title?

A month since the day I back to bintulu finished my CAT course..
well,gotta tell yea that its not a really good news to me for just somethings keep repeating during the month..and these are really bad much..
I hate those who are treating me SHIT!!他妈的..家里就是出了某些跟我对不上挂的长辈让我很烦..
I wonder why I having this kind of relatives...罗嗦就不要紧,有的没的什么都搬出来讲..人的五官我觉得最坏的就是嘴巴了..but what can I do?if I object what they think they are right then I will mark as rude..
And the other thing is,I am not the kind of people who really need help from others..but still gonna tell yea that I not gonna go close to you if you means totally nothing to me..what I means nothing here is somethings that I can get benefits from you..but 我不是无赖..因为我的脸皮没有某些人厚..
well thats all...

怕

缠着我让我哭笑不得..虽然我骂你很烦
但是现在我开始怀念当时你的缠绵了..

两个人一起的日子
坐着车去兜风,海边的晚霞 我们的合照,你还留着吗?
我仍在回味着你身上的味道

你还记得你对我的呵护吗?
帮我清理我的缺点 对我的唠叨 对我的疯狂
虽然我有时听不进
但是我开始怀念你的声音了

当时我真的有后悔我没好好的听你的唠叨和呵护
在我不小心放了错后 我失去了你的信任和依赖
而当我努力的找回之前的感觉时 你已经不再是以前的你了
我们好陌生 你猜不透我的感受 而我不熟悉你的性格了
你已经是属于别人了

有办法吗?我开始慌了
你能在我离开之前给回我们以前的感觉吗?
很难了..因为你的心容不下我了
我也好想失忆了..忘记你对我的好。